My friends on Facebook have seen some of this rant, but let's explore it more today. If you haven't read any Stephanie Plum novels by Janet Evanovich, this will make no sense, so feel free to skip.

One for the Money was made into a movie. GREAT SCRIPT! It was so spot-on that very few scenes were dropped (redundant ones and only a couple) and most dialogue was straight from the novel. So why did it only get a 2% rating on Rotten Tomatoes? Because the casting was so maniacally bad, it's not funny. The casting personel should have been checked for drugs or bribery.

Based off character descriptions in the novels what follows is how people should have looked and suggested actors, versus who was cast in the role. The first image is who should have been cast, the second is the WTF actor they chose.

Stephanie Plum:

Stephanie is described as being 27ish, average height, skinny, no boobs, with lerge frizzy curly brown hair and blue eyes. She is of Italian and Hungarian descent.

Curl Rooney Mara's hair and you have th perfect beautiful but awkwardly gawky Stephanie


 Katherine Heigl is too lush, too Aryan. Stephanie is supposed to be slim, gawky, with out of control hair...and ITALIAN

Joe Morelli:

Described as 28ish tall, rangy (slim but athletic), with curly black hair he lets grow too long, he is Jersey Italian and allegedly babe-a-licious.

 Antonio Cupo is young, italian, and insanely hot, everything Joe Morelli is


Jason O'Mara, an Irish actor and frankly not that attractive, was horribly mis-cast


Described as being Cuban with long hair, 27ish, built with muscles everywhere and devastating good looks.

Mario Cimmaro...Cuban, built like a brick shithouse, long-haired...*swoon*


Daniel Sunjata...too clean sut & plain & SHORT HAIRED, nothing that Ranger is supposed to be

Grandma Mazur:

Described as looking like a soup chicken, she is emaciated, average height, 80ish, with short hair and a flamboyant manner & style of dress.

Ellen Albertini Dow is slim, awkward looking, and flamboyant, all things Granda Mazur is


Debbie Reynolds is too polished, lush, Aryan, and even-tempered to be the firecracker Grandma Mazur

Jimmy Alpha struck me as a Black man from the book, yet was played by John Leguizamo. Benito Ramirez was supposed to be a Mike Tyson clone yet was played by a middleweight type. Stephanie's dad is envisioned as slim-to-average with a bit of a belly, not the fairly portly actor who played him. Stephanie's mom is supposed to be skinny/gawky like Stephanie and her mother Grandma Mazur, not a very average middle aged actress.

The only bad acting was Sherri Shepherd as Lula. I don't get it: Sherri is off-the-hook crazy as is Lula, yet she played Lula as sedate and rational. Also the costuming was wrong for her, not enough "poison green."

Seriously, this film should be shown in film classes to show how bad casting can ruin a film. It also didn't give off that authentic Jersey feel, and the chosen locations...what were they thinking? Evanovich describes Trenton in terms of reds, browns, and tans, and the predominant color was blue. It made it feel too sedate and serene.

It goes to show a script can be strong and a movie can still suck. After this and the V.I. Warshawski Fiasco I have decided that in the very unlikely event any book I write is ever optioned to be a film I'm gonna have to demand producer credit or turn them down flat.

This, kids, is the limit of selling out. DON'T DO IT!