Well, it's almost over. My house guests are gone, but I am still helping them. I work 3 jobs and am behind on them all. Catching up is gonna be a bitch. I did learn something important from the last 3 months of being a virtual slave: another pitfall for those who work at home.

Again, no one thinks you're actually working, and as such, people who ask for favors will ask you for Herculean favors of time & effort. I love my friends, but for the next 6 months I am going through a "go fuck yourself" phase. I don't ask for help so I ain't gonna give it. I have 1 set of friends who, because the husband drove with me to return the rental truck from my last move 3 years ago, have asked me to help move huge amounts heavy furniture (which I did), then help them paint & do their floors. NO.
 


I'm pretty sure this will be my next tattoo...on my forehead. 



 
The last three months have been taking on two 24/7 boarders (one a small child) and one who was here 4 days a week 24 hours. I had to do all the cooking, cleaning, shopping, laundry, dishes for them, give up my bed so I could sleep on a broken couch, give them cash and help them financially (I am a starving artist and can barely keep me & the dog afloat), as well as look after the three year old and do everything for her, including discipline, teeth brushing, and diaper changes. Why? Because I love my friends but they are the laziest, messiest people I know, and they haven't even potty-trained their toddler. I tried, but at that age it only really works if the parents keep it up, which they didn't.

I finally booted them out, but not only am I out money, not only did I fall 90 fucking days behind on 3 jobs, but also from lifting their 50lb child I have a slipped disc pressing on my sciatic nerve, so I have sciatica, and because I had to take them out to eat once to hide them from my landlord I got...long story short, I ended up in the ER, having minor emergency surgery, and as a result for a while I'll have hemorrhoids. That's right, I'm one case of gout away from being a 60 year old man.



 
My other friends have now started calling me Mort
 

The good news is now I can relax and heal as I should, and all three conditions will clear up. They're very minor, and so long as I avoid stress and heavy lifting I'll be fine. Now, why did they think they could do this? BECAUSE I WORK FROM HOME.

Motherfuck it. I get it...me sitting on the couch, on my laptop, using stumbleupon & fucking around, doing this, writing fiction, copy writing, or emailing for my night job all looks the same. However, when I do fuck around, music plays and I laugh frequently. When I am working every five minutes I just mutter "god damn it!" or "motherfuck!" because, well, it's work.



Actually, this sounds about right, right now. 


  

All will be well, and in summation of the lesson: a friend in need...

It's all behind me. And luckily all the pent-up rage and insanity should go nicely into some story. Perhaps I will edit the second Marly Jackson so she loses it a little bit. Today as I made the connection from the South California #94 bus to the California #52 bus, a hipster asked me where to get the #52 and I told her "I never saw the point of ducks." Partly because A) I have gone insane and B) I fucking hate hipsters.

So on that note, potatoes make excellent bakers, so splooge the slushie onto the bath mat!