Hello world, it's been a long time. As you know from my last post December 13th was bad. Well, it only got worse.

Just 5 hours after my last post I was suddenly laid off from my day job...by email. Why? Beats the hell out of me. I was the highest paid copy writer on staff, was lauded constantly, and then bam! One day, an email saying there was no more work, but oh, by the way, would I work for them for free? So my best guess was they're not doing so well in the economy, and tried to keep me on staff but not pay me. Not the best business practice, and had they tried to work with me and told me what was going on, perhaps we could have worked things out.

I haven't posted since the 14th as it's only gotten worse. The holidays slow my night job down to a crawl so I'm praying I get some money for Christmas so I can pay my phone bill. So I've been killing time playing video games to calm down, and then I hosted an End Of the World Party on the 21st. I should have known better.

The party was okay. I had food as I am on food stamps (the term "starving artist" still rings true) and the only issue was half the assholes who RSVP'd yes didn't bother to show. Fuck 'em. However that night because of public trans schedules, I had the following houseguests: my best friend, her husband (one of my best friends) and their 4 year old daughter (my goddaughter) stayed in my bedroom. One of my other (then) best friends and her disabled brother slept on my couches. I got to sleep on my recliner.

At 10a.m. my world went FUBAR. I was woken to hear my now-former close friend screaming repeatedly "THANK YOU JESUS, THANK YOU JESUS" while laying on the couch kicking her legs and thrashing her arms repeatedly in the air. My dog was going nuts, scared, so I got him away. Now I must admit, I was still fucked up from the party, so my brain was moving slow. When she tired herself out and got quiet I thought all was well. I fell back asleep, and I will always regret doing so.

The next thing I heard was her running. I opened my eyes in time to see my 4 year old goddaughter thrown across the room at my former-friend's sleeping brother. The toddler screamed and I ran to hold her after she fell, but then my former-friend ran, beat me there, and put the child in a bear hug. My best friend and I tried to pull her off, screaming. The former friend was screaming "I HAVE TO SAVE HER! I HAVE TO SAVE HER!" My roommates freaked out and my dog ran to bark to wake up the child's father. I put her in a sleeper hold and she let go with her arms, but held on with her legs. The poor toddler was still screaming in terror. We struggled, but finally the child's father got there, put a tight sleeper hold on her, and jerked the woman up, so she let go of the child.

My best friend got her daughter out of there and locked themselves in my room. I was about to call the police when my former-friend said "Just do it!" i.e. asking our mutual friend to kill her. He let her go and said don't call the police, just get her out of there, so we kicked her out.  She left, threatening me, and disappeared...leaving her disabled brother in my care. There were complex reasons for not calling the police, mainly who would take care of her brother? None of us wanted to be stuck with him as he is just as crazy.

I'm still shaken up by this. My goddaughter is okay, a few bruises and some lingering aggression, but the rest of us are bamboozled. At least, thanks to my psychiatric educational background, I know what we saw was the first psychotic break episode of the onset of paranoid schizophrenia. Fun! All we know at this time is she is an unmedicated schizophrenic with major depression living in  tiny apartment with her mentally retarded brother who is also an unmedicated schizophrenic. Oh, they also have 2 machetes and a battleaxe. At this point I am so angry I'm rather just hoping they kill each other.

If you think that cold, or callous, you have never hard the terrified, anguished scream of a small child you love. It cuts right through you. I've never been more scared in my life and I've been mugged, beaten, and left for dead. I share this mainly so you can understand why I've been taking time off. This is just too much shit to ask someone to deal with. I don't know what it is about the month of December, but it's never good to me.

No one is looking forward to January more than I. I may have some opportunities in my night job to compensate for the lost income of my day job, but I have to wait. Until then, for Christmas, my family and dog are getting hugs and homemade cookies, and I'm staring at a whiskey bottle wishing I could drink, but stuck remembering that when I do get drunk, it seems everything goes to hell, because somehow I've been appointed to be the glue in my social circle that keeps everything from turning to shit. 

I need a vacation, but I'm broke, and so I'm writing a new short story for an escape. The latest chapter of Secret Desires is finished and up here. It will be on literotica soon.

I sincerely hope your holidays are going better. Buried deep down, way deep down inside me is a little optimist, and her voice is all that makes me cling to the fervent hope that 2013 will be better.