A writer's life is always...fun. by fun I mean that sometimes it's ha-ha!" fun, and sometimes it's "goddamn it, kill me NOW!" fun. Usually, it's both.

The good news is waking up like this everyday is the master class in learning not to give a fuck


Lately it's been both for me. Mostly because of the Tournament Stories. I'm working on something with them with people outside writing, and I won't say just what, but it means changing things around. By changing things around, of course I mean "raping it like George Lucas raped Indy Jones."

I've been asked to change it so it will entertain the average girls aged 12-20 years old. Yeah, even when I was 12-20 I liked stories like mine...that's why I freaking write them. Hell, in those years I wrote a lot of poetry, but my fiction was mainly about female assassins and killers. I'm a Joss Whedon fan.

Joss and I agree: this is what a teenage girl should aspire to be


Now making it for modern average girls that age means...oh, gods, it's too much. Talking with friends tonight it's just a hot mess. I mean, Keelin at 16 was much the same as she is at 30+ in the stories. In case you missed it, she mentions that her teen years were spent locked in an attic for being crazy. Try to imagine turning 13 and getting memories of 3,000 years. Memories of being a soldier who killed and raped. Memories of lying, cheating, stealing, saving lives, giving birth, loving, losing, dying over and over. If you had gotten that "gift" would you give two flying fucks about fashion or crushes on boys? no, you'd be locked in an attic for being crazy too.

And here I am, trying to shape her into an average girl. It's like...well, getting me to want to dress in pink and declare myself a princess. Fuck that shit, even at a young age I wanted to be a queen. I didn't want to wait around for some white knight on a horse to marry me, I wanted to command armies and build empires. so in short, I'm the wrong woman to write YA fiction in any sphere. Clothes? Gossip? Crushes? Never my thing.

When I was a teenager this was my never-miss-it show


Take the most common trope in YA fiction for girls: the love triangle. If you're here you must have read my work, and you know how I handle that. Want two guys? Fuck them both. Find yourself in love with 2 people and they won't share? Leave them both.That way, everyone is hurt, it's equal. Pragmatism is how I roll.

Clothes? I sit here writing this in a t-shirt I've had since high school, plain black (I wear mostly that because it's never out of style) and ugly jean shorts I've had for years. Oh, and flip-slops because they're comfy and it today was fucking hot. I wore this dinner for date and then to game night with my friends. Okay, since I had a date I put on lipstick and mascara, but that's about as dolled up as I get.Fashion seems stupid, something designed to make you spend money and take your mind off real issues. Gossip? Okay, all humans like it, but I'd much rather discuss Star Trek, chemistry, and history. Seriously, my date was with a chemical engineer and he got my bromide jokes, and we discussed gaming (we both play online games and Cyberpunk, that's the short-cut to my heart. Okay add in long hair and a love of metal and I'd be a goner. Oh well, maybe next time).

The point is, I live on the fringes, and almost all real writers do. If we thought about the things most "normal" people do, we wouldn't be writing. We'd be watching Jersey Shore. But I'm learning a lesson here, though right now I'm failing it. I'm learning how to take a story made on the fringes, and develop into something easily digestible for the masses. If I do it right, I may attract people to the fringes. If I do it wrong...well, I can always be credited as Alan Smithee. 

Not a bad credit, this guy has...an interesting resume 


I'll update you as I go along, but wanted to make this point: writers are always learning. I've mastered some things but on others I'm as clueless as an Amish person at Burning Man. For now I'm trying to get inside the heads of teenage girls, and oh, dear gods, it's a dark, dark place. Wish me luck!

At least I can end this  post on a happy note The Loss is up on literotica and is now rated 5/5. The new Fey World is doing well and I have just one last chapter to write. Trust me, it's not the end of the story of Queen Hannah/Anni, and Kings Elfgwyven and Angoralt, but it's the end of this arc. It's coming soon, so stay tuned!