I was planing this post earlier before I got into a bad mood due to job #1. I've been so used to working for myself that I forgot what it was like to have overlords...yeah, when in doubt, always work for yourself. Not as many people die that way.

The theme of the day and this post


I was strolling down the street and ran into a few types of people who have always confused me. As a writer i often notice as many details of the world around me and pontificate on why things came to be as they are. In doing this again today I came across people who confuse the hell out of me. As such they will never appear in my stories, but the second I figure them out they probably will. do you understand any of these?

Jack Sprat Syndrome: tall, skinny guy, short fat girlfriend or wife. I mean, seriously, she's a foot shorter and 100lbs heavier...how do they mesh hobbies when his are probably sports related and hers are cupcakes? How do they have sex? How!? 

If I have to have that mental image, so do you!

Vegans Who Smoke: If you smoke it's your way of saying "I accept I am mortal and just want to enjoy my time here." If you're Vegan it's your way of saying "I am an asshole who likes pushing my beliefs on others and eating sawdust because I hope to live longer and annoy more people."

*Puff* Y'know, Monsanto is like *puff puff* trying to kill everyone with their GMOs *puff*


Submissive Rich Men With Bimbos: So you're a rich, middle-aged man, and you marry a 20 year old moron and make all her life decisions. Then you turn around and pay a Dominatrix to take control of you so you feel evened-out. Why not just, oh, I dunno, date a woman your own age with her own goals and call it Even-Steven?

I would bet my eye-teeth that this means Salman Rushdie likes to be spanked.  

Suburbanites with Cars Who Don't Drive: I live in a big city, in a bad neighborhood, and about once every two weeks I walk home drunk late at night and I'm fine. Yet suburbanites with cars won't even drive into good neighborhoods in the city, or frankly more than 1 mile from their homes. What's wrong with them?  Why have a car!?

Because clearly this is the best choice of transportation for work, school, and grocery shopping only


Big Burly Men with Tiny Yappy Dogs: Do I even need to explain my puzzlement? Heterosexual, single men who are gym rats and own annoying, yappy rich-girl purse dogs. Ooooookay.

Clearly not a Rhodes Scholar but wha???


These are just my favorites, there are hundreds more. of all the things that puzzle me in the world, human behavior is the strangest. this is why I studied psychology, and the frustration of it is ultimately why I don't practice.  If human nature didn't fascinate us, we wouldn't be writers. Still there are just too many wtf? moments in a day. 

It's a good lesson for fiction writing: only include things you can explain, mysteries you have solved. Now if only we had a maker and he/she/it/they had learned that lesson!